NOT marrying women

Yan said i should keep to my promise if i did promise not to bring him back anymore. but, have i ever, EVER promised i'll be straight, i'll get married to a woman? What sort of mindset did my parents have when they brought me up? What made most parents bring up their children with the expectation that they would become great scientists, lawyers, millionaires, and that they will be married to the opposite sex regardless of whether those 'mainstream' marriages would be happy ones or not?

Should i have made it clear to them that i'm not going to be what they expect of me by flunking my exams and turning stray, getting into bad company, not caring about my ties with the family? Would that be easier for them to accept that i'm GAY? Since i'd have been a hell of a son and brother anyway.

I've been trying to please most ppl, at least to those that i myself care for. But no one in my family is treating me and loving me for me at all. They want me to be their loving, sensitive, fillial, successful, good, doting son, brother, uncle BUT they freak out and threatened to turn their backs on me when they realised, i'm all the above EXCEPT that i'm GAY.

Kill me already. Kill me.