Multitasking

While /<< keeps talking about how ppl find him looking younger than his actual age, i get sad thinking and actually knowing how old i have been looking. All those stress, late nights and work (school, design, prudential, blogstores).. How can i ever have stayed looking young? I used to be such a baby face.. after all these years of slogging thru late nights studying as i have to work in the day or something, how possible is it to even just look my age?

VS seniors who have seen me recently sad i aged a lot. That really saddens me.

With all the awkwardness and even coldness going on at home, and an empty bank a/c, i really have been thinking about what the hell exactly have i been working so damn hard for.

Family, Friends, Fame, Fortune, Boyfriend.. Wat?

So, I really want to make money.. save up, and get an apartment on my own. I set to celebrate my 30th birthday in my very own apartment. 5 years (with this year inclusive). Dun get me wrong. I still love my family. Its just, they haven't came to accept me yet. I duno if it really is so selfish and too much of me to expect them to accept me, but, if they do love me, they should. But then again, it is also that they love me hence their reactions. I duno. Life's a mess now. Rachel, Ron and Alicia subsidised me for a DVD player, and the Prudents (current and ex) got me a bluetoth mouse that i pretty much love. The thing about the DVD player is, the situation at home is so not optimal that i even feel guilty about upping the entertainment, leisure, enjoyment factor in my very own room. Cuz apparently it seems to Yan that my life isn't miserable enough to be described as that by me.

The only sweet thang was that /<< gave me a pretty nice surprise for my 26th bday and for our 1st anniversary. Not bad really, my 2nd longest r/s thus far..

Looking at Jimmy and Yann's cosy nice 'East End' could bring me to tears..of envy and more envy.....

Swamped with commitments and responsibilities in the many areas (sch, design, and more design, prudential, the hattys, luminurz, family, /<<, forex).. I was falling apart. But now, the goal: 30 @ my very own...

Pulling everything back together.. move on, head on.